


A Fault in the Design

by ohmyheartsbeentried



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 22:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1565552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmyheartsbeentried/pseuds/ohmyheartsbeentried
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt works at Vogue in NY. Blaine is struggling to get by while taking care of his younger sister, Emilia. Kurt and Blaine meet in a most unfortunate way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Caught in the Act

Kurt wakes with a start. At first, he’s not sure why he’s awake – his room is pitch black – but then he hears a soft thump down the hall. Kurt freezes as his heart begins to race in his chest. Someone’s in his apartment. 

A thousand cliché movie moments and warnings from his Dad about living in the city flash across his mind. Of course, he latches onto the worst case scenarios – someone wanting to kill him. But he reasons that he hasn’t even met enough people here for him to be a target yet.

Regardless, Kurt attempts to control his breathing enough so that he can slide off his bed and grab the tennis racket his Dad gave him at some point when he showed interest in the sport, but he was only really in it to meet hot guys. 

Kurt shakes the memory from his head as he carefully creeps over to his door and eases it open. The hallway is a little lighter because of the moonlight that seeps through the blinds of the windows. 

He stands still and holds his breath as he listens for any other noises as to where the thump came from. After what seems like an eternity, Kurt begins to feel foolish. He lowers the racket, “You’re losing it, Kurt.”

He shuffles to the kitchen and sets the racket on the kitchen table before pouring himself a glass of water. He can’t believe he jumped to conclusions over a small noise. He shakes his head and finishes the glass before turning around and seeing a curly-haired silhouette of a person in the doorway to the kitchen.

Kurt freezes only for a second while the other figure lets out a resigned, “Shit,” before lunging forward and grabbing the racket, pointing at the man across the room. 

“Who are you? What are you doing in my apartment?” Kurt is proud that his voice doesn’t show the fear that is coursing through his veins. 

The man holds his hands up and Kurt sees a folder in his left hand but he is, in fact, weaponless. “Well, I’m not here to fix your cable…” he lets out a chuckle. If Kurt wasn’t horribly terrified, he might have actually found the sound adorable. Instead, he flips a switch and bathes them in fluorescent lighting. Both men flinch at the action but are now finally able to see each other fully. 

Kurt’s first thought is damn. The man – boy, actually, he can’t be more than sixteen – wears a heavy black coat over tight dark jeans and black boots. And if he were about to be killed by this man, he might feel regret over these thoughts, but since he’s in no mortal peril – he keeps them to himself. 

“Oh well, let me just pull up a chair for you then and we can swap stories!” his voice drips with sarcasm as he tries to point the racket menacingly. The folder in the boy’s hand looks familiar, but he can’t focus. 

Kurt thinks he sees the ghost of smile on the man’s face, but then the man sighs and the hand without the folder is dragged through his unruly curls as he says, “I, uh, wow this is embarrassing… I was attempting to steal from you.” He lifts the folder in Kurt’s direction who stares on in disbelief. The magazines fashion designs. He’s to guard them with his life. His Dad told him people get things stolen from them all the time in the city, but he wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon or on such a grand scale.

“I’m sorry. Look, I’ll give you it back,” he tosses the folder onto the kitchen table and raises his hands, “I won’t bother you ever again, just please – please – don’t call the police,” his hands are clasped together in front of him now and his shoulders are slouched in defeat. But Kurt is angry. He can lose his job over this man’s stupidity. And he’s asking for mercy?

“No, you’re only sorry you got caught. Let me remind you that breaking and entering is against the law so… you…” Kurt’s words taper off with his anger as he watches the man slide down the kitchen wall he is leaning up against and dropping down to the floor. He steps around the table to see the man leaning his elbows against his cross-legged knees with his head in his hands. “Um…”

“It’s Blaine,” the man says from the ground. “My name’s Blaine.”


	2. Joe's Pub

_6 Hours Earlier_

Kurt pulls his coat tighter around his body as the winter winds whip through the tall buildings of downtown New York. Snow flurries are building up on every available surface and even, Kurt notices, on the people standing at the bus stops. Wrapping his scarf higher on his neck, he weaves through the crowd, eager to get back to his apartment and _warmth_.

* * *

Blaine eyes the snow coming down outside the café window. The place is packed with people trying to keep out of the cold or taking a break before braving the weather to get to wherever they’re going. Blaine clutches his medium drip tighter and feels the warmth seeping into his bones. He knows his stay is only encouraged as long as he keeps buying coffee or baked goods, but as he looks across the table at the beautiful little girl happily dunking a chocolate chip cookie into hot chocolate, he’s afraid it won’t be much longer.

“Hey, Emilia? Sweetie?” Big brown eyes meet his and Blaine can feel his heart melting. “Slow down, okay?” She nods and nibbles slowly on the edges of the cookie. He smiles warmly at her. 

She has been handling all of this rather well considering she’s only seven and it’s only been a year since the accident. He hates that she has to go through this, but he’s only seventeen and his options are really slim in terms of jobs and he has to earn money _somehow_. Emilia takes a sip of her hot chocolate and leaves a chocolate mustache above her lip. He makes a decision. 

Blaine scrolls through the contacts on his phone and stops on the one he’s looking for, hesitating before pressing the call button. He waits until the call is picked up before saying, “Do you have a location?” 

_“Meet me after your set at the pub at the table near the door.”_

The line goes dead and leaves Blaine wondering if he’s done the right thing. 

* * *

Kurt chokes out a ‘thanks’ to the doorman as he rushes into the building, shaking off all the snow. The elevator ride consists of him trying to regain feeling in his extremities. Kurt gets out at the fourth floor and fumbles for his keys, which he drops at his door with a curse. 

Once inside, he hangs his coat up and kicks off his boots before weaving in between cardboard boxes with his messenger bag to his work room. It’s really an office, but he doesn’t dictate much these days so he just calls it his work room. He sets down his bag and places the folder his boss gave him today on his desk to look at tomorrow. He has the whole day anyway. 

To get back to the kitchen requires more navigating between boxes. Kurt has only been in the city for a few weeks and hasn’t found the time to unpack all of his boxes, which are scattered around his tiny apartment. Miraculously, he landed a paid internship at Vogue. He is currently his boss’s lackey, answering to her every whim, but Kurt’s happy he’s on the way to where he wants to be. 

After making a cup of tea, he quickly whips up dinner and eats while flipping through the latest Vogue for the fifth time. It’s this kind of dedication and impeccable fashion sense that helped him land the internship – and he’s glad he enjoys what he’s doing. 

The only noise to be heard is the wind whipping in the blizzard outside. At moments like these, Kurt wishes he had a roommate to talk about the day with. He has an empty room but didn’t have any time to post any roommate requests when he moved in. He considers doing that with some of the time he has off tomorrow while he loads his dishes into the dishwasher.

* * *

“Where are we going, B?” Emilia says as Blaine zips up her coat and tightens a scarf around her neck. 

“To the usual, Em. You know where,” he smiles at her and tugs a pink hat over her dark curls before kissing her head and offering his hand for her to take. 

“To Joey’s!” she announces and Blaine laughs. Her small hand fits into his and he leads them out the café and into the blizzard.

Blaine lets out a puff of breath into the chilly air and grips Emilia’s hand tighter. He knows that tonight he’s going to have to convince Joe to watch her after his set. He hates leaving her like this, but he has to. 

The walk isn’t too long, only a few blocks, but he tries to get them there faster. He can feel the cold starting to seep into his bones and all he can think about is that Emilia’s probably colder. 

They stop at a corner to wait for the signal and Blaine squats in front of her, tugging her hat down on her head and placing her small-gloved hands in between his. “You doing okay, Em?”

She nods her head resiliently and gives him a smile. He knows she’s cold, but she’s tough too. She’s had to deal with so much in the past few months and even though she doesn’t deserve any of it, he’s proud of how great she’s handled it. 

He breathes on her hands in between his and he is rewarded with a high-pitched giggle. The signal turns and Blaine hops up, taking Emilia’s hand again. 

They head underneath the red awning that marks Joe’s Pub and quickly head inside. The pub has a spacious dining area with a sizeable stage in the back for musicians to perform. Blaine is a little early for his set, but he and Emilia head to the back where they find Joe himself. 

Once Emilia sets her eyes on him, she squeals “Uncle Joey!” and races over to him. Joe has a huge smile on his face as he picks her up and spins her around. Joe had always seen Emilia and Blaine as his own kids ever since he found them sitting on the sidewalk not too far down the street from the pub. 

Joe sets Emilia down and grips Blaine’s hand tightly, “Hey, Blaine. How’re you doing?”

Blaine laughs, “You act as if I never see you, Joe. I live just upstairs.”

“Sssshhh, boy!” Joe says conspiratorially, “Mustn’t let the customers know I’m housing vermin!” He winks and pats Blaine on the shoulder affectionately. “Come on, let me get you both a drink.” 

Before Blaine can protest, Joe is sitting them down at the bar and whipping up another hot chocolate for Emilia and a medium drip coffee for him. Something constricts in his chest at Joe’s attentiveness to them and it makes Blaine guilty to think of what would happen if Joe found out what he was doing. 

He busies himself by taking off Emilia’s hat and gloves for her and stuffing them into the arms of jacket before smoothing her hair out of her face, chocolate already all over it. He looks up to find Joe staring at him from behind the bar. 

“Out with it,” he says simply. Blaine sighs and meets his eyes.

“I need you to watch Emilia tonight. After my set. I’m not sure for how long, but – “ It’s Joe’s turn to sigh now. 

“Blaine, when are you going to tell me what you do on these mysterious trips of yours? I mean you know I like watching Emilia, I have no problem with that, but I can’t help but think you’re getting yourself into trouble,” Joe’s watching him carefully to see if his words have struck any truths at all, but Blaine makes sure the accuracy of his statement doesn’t show on his face. 

“I can’t tell you, Joe. Maybe I will someday. But this is just something I have to do every now and then until – until I don’t have to anymore,” he finishes unsure and Joe gives him a scrutinizing look.

He doesn’t question it though because in the next moment he leans over to Emilia, “How would you like to spend the night with Uncle Joey?” Emilia’s face lights up with her toothy smile, but then turns to Blaine for permission (she obviously hadn’t been paying attention to their conversation). 

Blaine cocks his head in mock-thought, but then nods. Emilia launches herself at him and latches her arms around his neck chanting, “Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou.” Blaine squeezes her back and lets himself have this moment to pretend that everything is okay before she’s squirming out of his arms and back into her seat to finish her hot chocolate. 

“I’ve got it from here, Blaine. Why don’t you go get set up?” Blaine nods and mouths his thanks before smoothing Emilia’s hair and heading back to the stage area. 

Joe always saves the best time slots for Blaine because he frequently tells the kid he has “pure talent and the world needs to hear it” or something like that. Blaine is just thankful that he has some sort of gig and that Joe actually pays him even though he and Emilia sleep above his pub too. 

The pub isn’t too crowded yet, but his set doesn’t start for another few minutes and the dinner crowd in New York is always later. He walks onto the stage and sneaks behind the curtain, heading to his usual corner where he keeps his guitar. It’s the only thing, other than Emilia, that he has from his past. The black case is faded and cracked in places, but the sunburst-styled guitar inside is still as good as new. 

He brushes his fingers over a few strings and the soft tremors send a shiver up his spine. He loves performing. Telling a story through the lyrics and the music. Opening up his heart and letting it all out. 

He plucks the guitar out of its case and perches on a nearby stool while he plays a few riffs to get warmed up. Blaine rarely knows what he’s going to play on any given night; he usually just makes it up as he goes or takes requests from the audience. Joe tells him that’s one of the reasons why people love coming to hear him is because he can play any song thrown at him and even give it a little twist of his own. Of course, there are times where he reaches back into his past and plays songs he’s written, but it usually brings up memories he’d rather forget. 

A crackle of a microphone echoes through the place and Joe’s voice fills up the pub, “Good evening, everybody. I hope you are having a good time. My name is Joe and I own the place,” he pauses and the magnitude of the laughter lets Blaine know that the house is full tonight, “So without further ado, I will present my good friend, Mr. Blaine Anderson.”

Applause fills the pub and Blaine walks out on stage with his guitar and stops Joe to say thanks when the owner whispers, “Knock ‘em dead, kid.” Blaine grins and nods as he swings his guitar over his head and pauses to bring a stool in front of the mic.

“Well, you’re not the only ones allowed to sit on your asses all night,” he jokes to the familiar crowd; he always feels so at ease on stage. Holding his pick in his lips, he adjusts the mic and grins at the audience. “I’m excited to play for you all tonight. As always, let me know if you have any requests, but for now, I’m gonna do a throwback to my childhood, which for me was like yesterday.” Another round of chuckles echo in the room and Blaine can see Joe copying Emilia with a thumbs up from the bar. 

He begins picking the intro and the room goes quiet. 

_It's alright to tell me what you think about me_  
 _I won't try to argue or hold it against you_  
 _I know that you're leaving you must have your reasons_  
 _The season is calling and your pictures are falling down, falling down_

He has command of the room now, but Blaine can’t help the nostalgia that creeps up inside him and bleeds out into his voice. 

_The steps that I retrace the sad look on your face_  
 _The timing and structure did you hear_  
 _A day late a buck short I'm writing the report_  
 _On losing and failing when I move I'm flailing now_

_And it's happened once again_  
 _I'll turn to a friend_  
 _Someone who’ll understand_  
 _See through the master plan_

_But everybody's gone_  
 _And I've been here for too long_  
 _To face this on my own_  
 _Well I guess this is growing up_  
 _Well I guess this is growing up_

The phone call from that day returns to him, all he could hear was his heartbeat and his heavy breathing. He thought for sure his heart would stop, but it didn’t. It had just kept right on going as if all was right in the world. But it wasn’t. And it isn’t. 

_And it'll happen once again_  
 _I'll turn to a friend_  
 _Someone who understands_  
 _And sticks to the master plan_

_And everybody's gone_  
 _And I've been here for too long_  
 _To face this on my own_  
 _Well I guess this is growing up_  
 _Well I guess this is growing up_  
 _Well I guess this is growing up_  
 _Well I guess this is growing up_

A raucous round of applause ensues and does a half bow to please them. The rest of his set goes relatively the same, but Blaine loves every minute of it. The audience doesn’t disappoint with their suggestions and he ends up playing versions of Free Fallin’, Sunday Morning, Tiny Dancer, and I Left My Heart in San Francisco and ends with I Want You Back.

As Blaine leaves the stage and packs his guitar away, he hears Joe announce that the next band will be up shortly. Some group he’s never heard of but wishes he had. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have time for meet and greets. He sneaks back onto the main floor of the pub and tries to navigate the tables without anyone recognizing him, but most people do and they want to shake his hand or tell him great job. It takes a lot longer to get to the back table then he thought it would. 

He spies the dark-haired man sitting at the table alone and it unnerves him when the guy grins at him. “Nice set, Blaine. Not bad for 17.” 

“Thanks,” he says dryly and glances at the bar where Joe is too focused on the customers to take notice of Blaine. 

“So I suppose you’ll just want to get right down to business then?” Blaine’s look seems to be enough of an answer to him because he then slips a piece of paper into Blaine’s folded hands and says, “Here’s the address. You know how to find me when you get the material. The risk is yours now,” he says seriously and with that he turns and leaves Blaine with only the paper for comfort.


	3. As the Snow Falls

Kurt is all for watching reruns of America’s Next Top Model and Project Runway into the night, but his eyelids are becoming too heavy and he decides to go to bed early and fully enjoy his day off tomorrow. 

After double-checking the dead bolt on the front door, Kurt turns off all the lights on the way back to his bedroom. Sinking into his mattress, he begins to make a mental list of all the things he will do on his day off…

* * *

“Bye, Em. I just have to go take care of something and then I’ll be back in the morning, okay? You be good for Uncle Joey,” he says into those innocent brown eyes and wishes for the millionth time that he never has to leave her side. 

“Okay, B,” she says and he hugs her tight before pressing a kiss to her forehead. He stands to face Joe. Everything that Joe wants to say is written all over his face and it’s almost enough for Blaine to just stay and call the whole thing off. 

But he can’t. And he won’t. He needs to do this. It’s his only chance at making his and Emilia’s life better. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Joe,” Blaine says, even adding a smile as he grips Joe’s hand. He knows he doesn’t fool him for a second, but Blaine needs to hear it for himself. 

It’s not like he’s risking his life or anything, but there’s a good chance that Blaine will end up in jail tomorrow morning and not be able to make it back. 

The sun has gone down and left the bright lights of New York City to enlighten the many who still walk its streets. Blaine shoves his hand in his pocket and fishes for the paper with the address. He glances at it and realizes he has to walk a long way. In his other pocket, he has just enough money for a subway ride. Another decision. 

The subway is loud but not very crowded at this time of night. He stands away from everyone else anyway. Blaine just wants to get to his destination fast and get this done. 

Despite how long the walk would be, the subway ride isn’t bad at all. In no time, Blaine is emerging from the tunnel onto a quiet, deserted street and peering up at the buildings to find the right one. When he does, he curses to himself because the building has a doorman waiting inside. Blaine then realizes why _third window from the left_ had been written on the piece of paper too. 

Blaine passes by and turns into a narrow alley on the other side. He’s supposed to somehow get on the fourth floor too. He counts the windows and finds himself standing below an emergency escape ladder – that’s too high for him to reach, of course. The dumpsters in the alley have been strategically placed away from the ladders so they can’t be used to climb up them. 

He sighs. He always comes prepared for such situations, but he hates resorting to it because it could jeopardize everything. Out of his inside coat pocket, Blaine retrieves a coiled rope. Tying a knot at one end for a weight, he tosses it through the last rung of the escape ladder. He tugs on it gently and realizes he’s going to have to use more force – which means more noise in the alley. 

Blaine takes a breath and jerks the rope hard sending the escape ladder sliding down with a loud screech and resting in front of him. He wastes no time recoiling the rope and tucking it back in his pocket before quietly scaling the ladder. 

Quickly double-checking that the window in front of his is the right one, he slips out his pocketknife and slides it under the window and unlatches the lock. He slides it open and surveys the room. It seems to be unused from the lack of accessories and personal touches he often sees. It’s not the room he’s looking for. 

A desk sits right in front of the window. He climbs on top of it and slides the window shut – louder than he means to. He cringes and waits. Nothing. 

Lightly hopping off the desk, he pads over to the open door and peers down the hallway: to the right, a closed door and to the left an open door and beyond that what looks like the kitchen and living room. He guesses that’s the one with the sleeping person so he crosses the hall to the open one. 

And silently congratulates himself. He knew the assistant of the head of Vogue would have some sort of fashion taste. It’s blatantly obvious when he looks at the corkboard plastered with different hand-drawn designs of coats, pants, dresses, and outfits in various colors and textures. Blaine almost gets lost in the intricacies before he remembers: _the folder_. 

He walks over to the desk underneath the corkboard and, as if it were placed there for him, is the folder of the new designs for Vogue for the upcoming season. Blaine was promised a _lot_ of money if he could acquire this and bring it to what he guesses is their rival fashion magazine.

He knows it’s wrong. He knows that he shouldn’t do it. But he also knows that he and Emilia can’t go on living the way they are. They can’t rely on Joe forever. She deserves better. And so does he. Blaine couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t at least _try_ to make it better.

And with his internal pep talk aside, Blaine grabs the folder and heads back into the hallway. He freezes when he hears a sharp intake of breath. He turns and sees a person bathed in the moonlight streaming through the window staring at him from the middle of the kitchen and Blaine allows himself to swear, “ _Shit._ ” He’s been caught in the act. And not just by anybody of course, it has to be by the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. Bedhead and all.


	4. Would You Like Tea With Your Crook?

“It’s Blaine,” the man says from the ground. “My name’s Blaine.” 

Kurt has no idea what to do. There’s no protocol for a gorgeous man breaking into your apartment to steal fashion designs and then offering his name after curling up on your kitchen floor when he gets caught. 

Before he can do anything, Blaine lifts his head up and looks him straight in the eyes. Kurt’s shocked by the golden quality there and almost misses what he says, “I did it for my sister. When you call the police at least know that it wasn’t entirely for selfish reasons. She needs a better life than the one I’m giving her,” and then he looks away and says partially to himself, “Maybe that will hold up in court…”

“Kurt,” he doesn’t know where the quiet confession comes from but Blaine’s head shoots up at his voice.

“Kurt,” Blaine says, as if trying out the name on his tongue, holding his arms out, “I’m not going to hurt you and I’m not going to lie to you. This was a completely material-focused break-in,” he half-heartedly chuckles and then grimaces. “This is so bad. I’m so sorry.” His head thunks against the wall behind him and he stares up at the ceiling. 

The look of complete resignation in his eyes catches Kurt off-guard. Blaine is telling the truth. He knows it. Kurt decides that he’s not dangerous, or he probably would have done something already, so he sets the racket down on the kitchen table. Blaine looks back up at him at the gesture.

“I’m not calling the police,” he says. “But I don’t know if I can just let you go… I have no idea what to do here,” he admits with a shrug and leans up against the kitchen table. Blaine nods and they are silent for a moment. 

“What if I told you my life story?” Blaine jokes with a half-smile on his face, “Will that persuade you that I’m not all bad?” He wiggles his eyebrows and Kurt blushes first at the suggestiveness but then laughs thinking this has to be the most adorable boy he’s ever met, but of course it has to be under such odd circumstances. It is _his_ life after all, he thinks sarcastically. 

Reality crashes back down on him as he remembers how much he needs to do with the designs in question on his day off and the smile falls off his face. He can tell Blaine senses the change in the atmosphere and they fall into another silence. Kurt wants to just kick Blaine out and start sleeping with the designs in his bed and just forget this almost-disaster – but something in Blaine’s voice stops him. 

“She’s only seven,” he starts, staring off somewhere into Kurt’s living room. “Emilia… She was only six when our parents were killed in a car crash.” 

Kurt feels the pressure around his heart increase and he almost can’t breathe. She was younger than Kurt when he lost his mom and she and Blaine lost _both_ of their parents that day. The sadness in Blaine’s eyes makes Kurt want to wrap him in his arms and protect him from the world – which is weird since he just caught him trying to steal from him not ten minutes ago. Kurt shakes his head. This is probably what drove Blaine to steal in the first place. He tries to give ‘comforting’ his best shot. 

“M-my mom died when I was eight,” he says quietly and Blaine’s eyes meet his. “I know ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t even come to close to beginning the healing process, but letting other people in, _talking_ about it, does.”

“I’ve n-never talked about it,” Blaine says and Kurt can hear his throat starting to close, tears threatening. Kurt panics, he doesn’t know what he would do if Blaine started crying, but he decides it’s too soon in their odd relationship. 

“Tea?” Kurt asks and Blaine looks up, shock and gratefulness written all over his face, and nods. 

He may not understand fully why Blaine did what he did, but Kurt’s been in his position, at least partially, and he knows that if he had lost his mother later in life, he probably would have resorted to damaging practices too. 

Kurt doesn’t know when he became the type to take in troubled crooks in the dead of night and get them to talk about their lives, but he believes this is different. He can feel something deep down telling him it’s the right thing to do.


	5. Just The Truth, Please

As Kurt puts a kettle on, Blaine takes the pause to collect himself. He pushes his hair back and rubs his now warm hands together. Kurt approaches the kitchen table between them and gestures at the seat across from the one he moves to take. Blaine is yet again shocked by Kurt’s hospitality and feels his chest tighten in guilt at what he’s done to him. 

He unzips his coat and rests it on the back of the chair before taking the seat and pushing up his sleeves, folding his hands in front of him. Blaine notices Kurt’s eyes graze over his now exposed forearms in his black long sleeved shirt and tries not to be too pleased when Kurt looks away blushing. They both know this is definitely not the time for this to be happening. 

Blaine coughs before starting, “After my parents died about a year ago, Emilia and I kind of fell off the map. Since I wasn’t eighteen at the time, I wasn’t allowed to inherit anything. I didn’t have a job or an income so I wasn’t considered a legal guardian either. Our parents had us enrolled in private school at the time – I was at Dalton and Emilia at a renown school for young girls upstate.” Blaine sees Kurt’s eyes lift and he pauses. 

“Sorry, I just – we, um, my glee club at my high school competed against you a few times,” he says. 

Blaine smiles, “Really? I was part of the Warblers. Where’d you go?”

“McKinley. You guys are really great,” he exclaims and then the tea kettle starts whistling. 

“Thanks, you guys were pretty awesome too,” Blaine chuckles as he watches Kurt grab two mugs from the cupboard. “I really enjoyed it. Performing. Singing. Music. I think that helped me get my gigs at Joe’s.” 

Kurt sets a teabag in each mug and pours hot water into each. “Wait, you don’t mean Joe’s Pub?”

“Oh, yeah. I don’t know any other Joe’s,” he smiles and Kurt nearly drops the mug he sets in front of Blaine. 

“It’s _really_ difficult to get gigs there. You must be amazing,” he says and the way he looks at Blaine makes him feel like he could do anything. 

“Well, I don’t know about that,” he says bashfully, wrapping his hands around his mug. “You’d have to ask Joe why he books me.” Kurt just gives him a warm smile and Blaine feels it move through his entire body. They both bounce their teabags and this silence is more comfortable, and feels strangely domestic despite the circumstances. After a moment, Kurt gestures for him to continue. 

“Well, I didn’t want child services after us. I couldn’t let some random family attempt to raise us. I was the only family Emilia had left and I was prepared to do anything to make up for all that we’d lost,” Kurt nodded in understanding. Blaine sighs, “So, we dropped out of school. It was harder to find us that way. It was really rough for the first few months because I had to ration what little money I did have between the hotel we were staying in and the food that we ate.”

Blaine hates thinking back on the early days, the pain was so fresh and the life so new – he had no idea what he was taking on. “Part of me wishes I had just let child services whisk us away to a new home.” Blaine sees the surprised look on Kurt’s face that he’s sure matches his own. He hadn’t meant to say that. He rushes to explain. 

“Once the money in my account had ran out, there was no hotel to sleep in and no food to eat. I hadn’t found a job because no employer in their right mind would hire a 16-year-old,” he says. “So, yes. It would have been easier to be taken in by a family who could have provided a warm bed and meal every night and the security we needed.”

Blaine takes a sip of his tea and looks at Kurt who asks, “Where did you go? After all the money ran out?”

“We did what most homeless, penniless people do in New York. We sat on the street and begged,” he looks away from the pity that is written all over Kurt’s face. He felt enough of it during that time of his life. “Having Emilia by my side helped a great deal. The innocent face coupled with my guitar skills – we got by.

That worked for about a month or two and then winter set in. It took more for people to fish through their layers for a few dollars, change even. People didn’t want to stay outside and we didn’t either,” Blaine grimaces at the memory of Emilia repeating how cold she was. They only had a few changes of clothes that they carried around in Blaine’s backpack but none of them were winter coats. 

“That was when Joe happened to come across us a few blocks down from his pub,” Kurt had been silent throughout this part of his story but sputtered in the middle of his sip of tea when Joe was brought up again. It made Blaine smile, “Yes, Kurt. It was _the_ Joe from Joe’s Pub. He noticed the talent I had playing guitar and couldn’t say no to Emilia’s sweet face so, he took us in. I play sets for him and bring in huge crowds and in return we get to sleep above the Pub.”

Once Kurt had recovered, he asks, “Wait, so he was just okay with you basically running from the law?” 

Blaine pauses. “Joe doesn’t know. I just told him that I needed a place to stay and a job so that I could get back on my feet again. He agreed immediately – “

“But Blaine, he’s housing the two of you under false pretenses. He could get in trouble!” Kurt exclaims.

“Not to mention the fact that I broke into your apartment. Don’t forget that _juicy_ detail,” Blaine says, voice dripping with sarcasm. Kurt stops and just looks at Blaine. That one look completely breaks his resolve. “I – I’m sorry. That was really rude. I mean coming into your house intending to steal from you was also rude, but you’ve been so gracious and you haven’t called the police and you’re listening to my story and you’ve giving me fucking tea for crying out loud – “

“Blaine,” Kurt’s voice completely stops Blaine’s rant. He hears Kurt take a breath and his stops in his throat when Kurt’s hand closes over his. Kurt meets his eyes, “Sometimes people do bad things, but that doesn’t make them a bad person.”

The warmth from Kurt’s hand sinks into his skin and he can feel the tension lifting from his shoulders. Kurt continues, “For some crazy reason that is beyond me, I trust you, Blaine,” his bright blue eyes pierce into his and Blaine can’t remember how to breathe. “I mean, I can’t remember the last time a crook sat down and had a heart-to-heart with the person he was stealing from in a movie,” he jokes and Blaine laughs. He can’t remember the last time anyone made him feel this way. 

Kurt squeezes Blaine’s hand before returning it to his mug and asking, “I didn’t mean to accuse before. I just – don’t you have any other relatives you can stay with?” Kurt must notice the way his jaw clenches and his eyes narrow because his face suddenly looks scared, but Blaine sees something else too… 

“Well, none of them could keep their hurtful opinions about their gay relative to themselves, so we didn’t like to keep them around even when our parents were alive. I didn’t want Emilia around that either,” he says bitterly and it confirms that the look in Kurt’s eyes is understanding – Kurt nods. 

“Well, I can certainly relate to that,” Kurt says and when Blaine raises his eyebrows as if to ask _Wait, you’re gay?_ , Kurt gives him a deadpan stare as if to say _Really? Have you not checked your gaydar in a while?_ Kurt breaks off his stare and smiles making Blaine smile too and his heart flutters at the sight of Kurt looking at him like that.

“Okay, so no relatives are in the equation,” Kurt says taking control of the conversation. Blaine nods and deep down he feels more _right_ than he’s felt in a while without being next to Emilia. “So how was stealing my company’s designs going to help you?”

“They were prepared to give me a ton of money for them,” Blaine says frankly, still feeling the aftershocks of the guilt wash over him. 

“Who’s they?” Kurt asks suspiciously.

“The rivals of Vogue? I’m not sure…” Blaine says but an incredulous squeak escapes from Kurt’s mouth and if Blaine didn’t feel so completely guilty at the sound, he would have thought it was really quite adorable. 

Kurt seems to get a hold of himself before he says, “I’m really glad you didn’t Blaine. I’m sorry, but that would have _ruined_ me for the rest of my life probably. No one would have been able to trust me with anything…”

“I’m sorry,” Blaine says as sincerely as he can. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m glad I didn’t either.” 

“Even though it could have brought the money that could given you and your sister a better life?” Kurt asks tentatively. 

Blaine sighs. “Yes. Even just being in your presence for the past few hours, I feel so guilty, Kurt. I’ve done other things like this before and probably ruined some other poor people’s lives too, but I’ve never regretted them more than now. I don’t know why, but you’ve made me really see that what I’m doing – how I’m _living_ – isn’t right.” Kurt smiles softly at him.

“Well, I’m glad to have turned you from your scheming ways,” he says slyly as he arches an eyebrow. Blaine blushes. Of all the apartments and all the fashion assistants in New York, he somehow came across Kurt. And Blaine had never been more thankful for his messed up life. “So what do we do now?” Kurt says grabbing their empty mugs and putting them in the dishwasher. 

“What time is it?” Blaine asks, thinking of Emilia at Joe’s. 

“Um, it’s about 2am,” Kurt says squinting at the clock on the stove. 

Blaine really doesn’t know what to do. He knows he should leave and get back to Joe’s and move on with his life instead of forcing his presence more on Kurt than he already has. But his world seems a whole lot brighter with Kurt in it and he doesn’t know how to tell Kurt that he wants him to _stay_ in it. 

Kurt must have noticed the hesitation because he makes the decision for him, “Would you feel comfortable sleeping on the couch for a few hours? I have to sleep too. My night was interrupted by this adorable crook trying to steal my boss’s designs, can you _imagine_?” 

Blaine tries not to flail outwardly at the fact that Kurt just called him _adorable_ as he fake gasps, “Oh, how dreadful! I should sleep here and make sure he doesn’t come back.” Blaine winks at Kurt and admires the rosy color that creeps up his neck in response. Kurt nods and gestures for Blaine to follow him into the hallway. 

Blaine can’t remember the last time he shamelessly flirted with another guy; he had always had Emilia in tow or his parents had been with him. Nobody at Dalton had ever been in his sights for affection either. 

Kurt opens a linen closet and pulls out a pillow and blanket, which he places in Blaine’s arms. “Choose either couch you like,” he smiles and begins backing up towards his room, “And I’ll leave the racket on the kitchen table for you in case that crook comes back.” Kurt grins at him and lingers at his door. Blaine wants to say something. He doesn’t want this to be a one night thing. He has to show Kurt that he wants to see him again. 

“Would you like to meet Emilia tomorrow?” he blurts out and Kurt’s face falters for a moment. But then he grins again.

“I’d love to,” Kurt waves slightly before entering his room and closing his door. 

Blaine feels his heart beat with happiness he hasn’t felt in a _long_ time. He can’t believe how trusting Kurt is, but he did lay out his entire life story. And now that Blaine thinks about it, Kurt did take the folder of designs into his room with him. He was too busy flirting to notice or care. He wouldn’t trust himself either after that. Blaine’s just happy to have someone to talk to and who actually can empathize with what he’s going through. 

And Kurt’s going to meet Emilia. And probably Joe too. Blaine sighs. He can’t start worrying about this now. He really needs to get some sleep. The night has been emotionally draining to say the least, but Blaine’s finally _happy_. 

It feels like Kurt will actually help him figure out how to get his shit together.


	6. Of Syrup and Reasons

Kurt wakes up the next morning around 8am feeling considerably well rested and _happy_. He’s pretty sure the latter has to do with the curly-haired boy sleeping on his couch. Thinking of which, before he starts his morning routine, he sneaks out to the living room to make sure last night wasn’t a dream. 

Tiptoeing as quietly as he can, Kurt has the sudden odd thought that this was probably what Blaine was doing last night before he caught him stealing. He shakes the thought out of his mind and steps into the living room. He has to slap a hand over his mouth to stop either the gasp or the fawning noises that were sure to fall out. 

Blaine is curled around a pillow facing the inside of the couch with his mop of brown curls sprawled everywhere. The blanket he gave him is down by his feet and Kurt can see a strip of skin where his shirt had ridden up. He was the most adorable mess Kurt had ever seen. 

Looking at his face more closely, he notices how serene Blaine’s face is. It’s quite obvious how at ease he feels and it takes Kurt off-guard because this is a completely different, _happier_ , person than the one he met last night. 

Before he can be considered a creeper, Kurt sneaks back into his own room and grabs his toiletries and the outfit he had picked out last night before heading to the bathroom. 

After taking a thorough shower, he dries and styles his hair and carefully puts on his outfit: a long grey sweater with black trim, black skinny jeans, and boots. He’s not sure how far they’re going to travel to go meet Emilia, but he wants to be prepared. 

Deciding that his hair and outfit are immaculate, Kurt heads to the kitchen to make breakfast. However, he sees a curly head pop up from the couch at the sound of his approaching footsteps. He pauses in between the living room and kitchen to see Blaine grinning sleepily at him from the couch. His hair his plastered to his face on one side and he can barely keep his eyes open.

Kurt can’t stop the smile that grows on his face from the sight. “I’ll take it, you slept well?” 

Blaine stands up and stretches his arms above his head, exposing his toned stomach underneath his shirt, as he lets out a moan that sort of sounds like “Oooohhhh yeahhhh.” 

Kurt blushes and looks away, speaking to the floor now. “Good, well, um, I’m going to make breakfast, so, uh, make yourself at home… Oh, and if you’d like to take a shower, you’re more than welcome.”

“That would be great,” Blaine’s voice says closer than Kurt anticipated and looks up to see him standing right in front of him with those golden eyes. 

Kurt swallows thickly before answering, “Oh, okay. Uh, towels are in the linen closet and I can get a change of clothes for you if you like?” A flicker of emotion passes over Blaine’s face that Kurt can’t read. 

“Oh, no. That’s fine. I’ll just change back into these,” he doesn’t meet Kurt’s eyes as he turns to the linen closet. Kurt realizes that offering to give Blaine clothes was probably a bad idea. Not only were they practically complete strangers, but Blaine probably still feels guilty about almost stealing the designs. Taking his clothes would feel like stealing something from Kurt too.

“The bathroom is in my room on the right,” Kurt says as Blaine pulls a towel out of the linen closet. Blaine gives him a thumbs up and heads down the hallway. “Just don’t steal my bath soap,” Kurt calls in an attempt to regain their light-hearted banter. Blaine turns and flashes him a genuine smile before heading into Kurt’s room. 

When Blaine’s gone, Kurt finally notices how fast his heart is beating in his chest. He takes a few deep breaths before taking out all the things he’ll need to make pancakes. He can’t believe the effect Blaine has on him. He’s barely known him for twelve hours and he already can’t stop thinking about him.

About those _eyes_ and those _arms_ and that unruly mop of curls that just seem so _Blaine_ … But Kurt can’t forget his honesty and his obvious love and dedication to his sister. Despite his striking good looks, that’s what really impressed him. 

However, something is tugging in the back of his mind. _Throughout all the things that Blaine’s dealt with, why wouldn’t Blaine find an easier way to get money? Why risk imprisonment over breaking and entering along with theft? Surely, his gigs at Joe’s Pub earn him enough money to get by?_ Blaine was leaving something out of his story and Kurt intended to figure out what it was.

* * *

Just as Kurt flips the last pancakes off the stove and onto a plate, Blaine appears in the kitchen, hands shoved in his pockets. His hair is still wet, drops of water falling from his ringlets. Kurt sets the plate of pancakes on the table.

“Blaine –“  
“Kurt – “

They both chuckle nervously as Kurt sets plates, silverware, and syrup in front of them. He gestures for Blaine to sit and says, “You first.” 

Blaine sits but doesn’t take any pancakes. Kurt sits across from him, waiting. Blaine takes a deep breath, “I just wanted to say thank you. I never said it last night, but it meant a lot to me that you listened. And that was after the fact that I almost stole from you,” he chuckles. “It just shows how great of a person you are, Kurt. And I’m really glad that we’ve met, despite the circumstances.”

Well, shit. All of Kurt’s doubts and suspicions about Blaine fly right out the window when those golden eyes look at him that way and his heart melts. 

“I – I’m really glad we met too, Blaine,” Kurt says blushing, trying to collect himself. “And I don’t think that you’re a bad person. I just think you’ve been dealt a bad hand and have had to make some really tough decisions because of it. I can kind of relate.” He flips two pancakes onto Blaine’s plate before serving himself. 

Blaine looks at him for a moment and smiles, “Thanks, Kurt.” 

Kurt nods and they dig into their pancakes. The silence is a surprisingly comfortable one, considering all they have been through in the past twelve hours. Kurt watches Blaine devour his pancakes like they might be the only meal he eats today. But maybe it will be. Kurt’s stomach churns at this. He can’t imagine living meal to meal like that. 

“Hey, Blaine?” Kurt asks, setting down his fork. Blaine hums around a mouthful of pancakes. Kurt takes one look at Blaine’s innocent face and the full mouth of pancakes and backs out of his original question. “Um, where are we going to see Emilia?”

Blaine swallows his huge bite and takes a swig of OJ before answering. “Can I keep that a secret?”

“Are you going to blindfold me or something?” Kurt asks, suddenly feeling nervous.

Blaine just laughs, “No, Kurt, I’m not going to blindfold you. I just know you’re going to like the destination.” 

Kurt looks at Blaine skeptically. He isn’t sure whether he should trust Blaine this much – but then again, he did let him _sleep in his house_. But – Kurt’s conscience kicks into gear – he doesn’t know whether Blaine’s telling the whole truth. He still feels like Blaine’s keeping something from him. Kurt won’t figure out what that is though if he doesn’t go with him.

Blaine is eyeing him worriedly, but Kurt says, “Okay.” 

Blaine sputters for a second. “Really?! Because for a second there you looked like you were about ready to kick me out into the snow.” 

Kurt shakes his head, “I wouldn’t do that, Blaine. Not after all that you’ve been through.” 

Blaine nods slightly as he finishes his pancakes, but he doesn’t look like he believes Kurt at all. Kurt takes his empty plate to the kitchen and hears Blaine’s chair scoot back as he follows suit. He loads his plate into the dishwasher and Blaine does the same; the domestic feeling is back again. 

“I’m sorry,” Blaine says leaning up against the kitchen counter as Kurt closes the dishwasher. “I don’t mean to be ungrateful. I just – I can’t. I _know_ what I’ve done and I don’t deserve your hospitality. You don’t owe me anything, Kurt. I owe _you_.” 

Blaine’s eyes are sincere and Kurt finds himself nodding in response. He says with a wry smile, “I know.”

* * *

Hats, gloves, scarves, and coats on, Kurt and Blaine head out into a blistery, winter morning. Kurt tugs his scarf close and his bag closer; he doesn’t want to risk losing the designs again, even though he is currently following the guy who attempted to steal them.

Flurries whip their hair around as they descend the stairs to the subway. Blaine pauses before they reach the turnstiles. 

“ _Shit_ ,” Kurt hears Blaine say and he remembers hearing him say that in the exact same tone last night. He wants to make a quip about Blaine getting caught stealing something again but stops when he sees Blaine’s face. Pain and guilt. 

“Blaine, what’s wrong?”

The curly-haired boy turns out the insides in his pockets to reveal – nothing. Kurt’s heart squeezes in his chest. Blaine was supposed to have his money by now not empty pockets. And part of that _is_ Kurt’s fault. 

“Do you mind walking?” Blaine asks with a flush in his cheeks that has nothing to do with the cold. Kurt huffs indignantly before pushing Blaine through the turnstile and paying for the both of them. 

“Kurt – “

“Blaine, honestly? It really doesn’t matter.” Kurt gives him a small smile, but Blaine still looks in distress. Kurt’s clearly done him too many favors in the past 24 hours. 

“Kurt. You really are _too_ kind. Thank you. I- I’ll make it up to you somehow, I swear,” Blaine nods fervently. Kurt smiles as he hums in agreement before laughing and taking Blaine’s arm to lead him onto the subway.

They grab a pole near the far door and settle in for the ride. Kurt loves people watching and the best time to do that is on the subway, but he realizes someone is watching him.

“Yes, Blaine?” he asks the hazel eyes gazing at him. 

Blaine wraps both of his hands around the one Kurt has around the pole and says, “So, Kurt Hummel from Lima. How have you evaded me my entire life?” Kurt can feel a blush rising on his skin. 

“Oh, it was quite difficult staying away from your adorable mop of curls,” Kurt says wondering where that came from as his other hand twitches towards the curls peeking out from underneath Blaine’s hat. He instead adjusts the strap of his messenger bag. Blaine’s face now sports a nice, deep red color that probably matches Kurt’s face right now. He can’t believe he’s _flirting_ especially with the man who broke into his apartment last night. Okay, he really needs to stop holding that against him.

Blaine’s gaze settles on their intertwined hands on the pole and begins to stammer before Kurt laughs and eases the tension between them. Blaine couldn’t be more adorable if he tried. He seems to collect himself at Kurt’s reaction and clears his throat, changing the subject. 

“I’m excited for you to meet Emilia. She’s… well she’s all I’ve got to say the least.”


	7. Heart On My Sleeve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get your spiles ready, things are about to get real sappy... 
> 
> The song is Andrew Ripp's "You Will Find Me".

Kurt keeps his heart thoroughly encased inside his chest, safe and untouched by this stunning, amazing man in front of him. With every grin and laugh and touch directed towards him, Kurt feels the stuttering beats and the strong pulsations that make his insides quiver with excitement, but he doesn’t allow his heart any attention. He _can’t_. 

Chins tucked into the necks of their coats and shoulders brushing close together, they brave the harsh winter winds and blistery chill that nips at their extremities for a short few blocks.

They round the wrought iron fence in front and take the short stairs two at a time. Blaine opens the door for Kurt with a shy smile. He returns it with a blush underlying his already wind-burned cheeks. 

Kurt barely has a moment to look around the place when a voice calls over from the bar, “Blaine!” A man a little taller than Blaine rounds the bar with a wide smile and a hint of concern in his voice. “I wasn’t sure when I’d hear from you again.” His bald head shines dimly in the low lighting and his jawline is hidden in a thick layer of brown scruff. 

Blaine’s eyebrows fall. “I’m sorry, Joe. I really am. That won’t happen again.”

Joe nods once but doesn’t look convinced. At that point, he turns to Kurt with a growing smile. “And who’s this?”

“Joe, this is Kurt,” Blaine says. “We, uh,… well I… um…”

“We… ran into each other on the subway last night!” Kurt saves him in a rush and internally gives himself a high-five as he shakes Joe’s hand. Blaine smiles at him gratefully. Joe eyes them suspiciously; nothing seems to get past him. 

“O…kay,” he says slowly. “It’s nice to meet you, Kurt. I’m sure I’ll figure out what’s going on here eventually, but I’d bet that Emilia would like to see her brother before I interrogate him.” Joe turns and disappears through a door behind the bar. When he’s gone, Blaine swears underneath his breath.

“I’m guessing Joe doesn’t know about any of the creeping-through-strangers-windows-and-stealing-things business?” 

Blaine laughs dryly, “No. And it’s going to stay that way. He’s given up enough for us as it is.”

Kurt studies the pained look on Blaine’s face. He wishes he could smooth the wrinkles in his forehead and lines next to his mouth. The crinkles next to his eyes could stay though; he loves the way they deepen when he laughs. Kurt wants to take away his troubles and see Blaine smile and laugh more; he wants to see the tension leave his posture and the weight lift from his shoulders. 

Suddenly, it’s as if a switch is flipped and Blaine’s whole expression changes. 

“B!” A bright voice squeals as a small pink figure rushes towards Blaine from behind the bar. Blaine’s whole face opens up with a beaming smile as he catches the curly-haired girl under her arms and lifts her easily into his embrace, her legs wrap deftly around his torso.

“Em,” Kurt hears Blaine breathe into her hair, eyes shut tight, one hand cradling her head the other wrapped firmly around her body, gripping her closely as if she were the only thing in the world. 

Kurt’s chest is too tight as if his heart grew too large to be contained between his ribs. He feels like his face is breaking in half with how wide he’s smiling. 

Blaine pulls away from Emilia, but she keeps her hands locked around his neck so he can’t go far. “Em, there’s someone special I want you to meet.” Blaine shuffles over to Kurt and angles Emilia towards him. “This is Kurt. He’s a friend of mine.”

A shiver runs up Kurt’s spine at the word _special_. He tries to give Emilia a slightly toned-down grin and says, “Hi, Emilia! I’m Kurt.” One of her hands plays with a curl at the base of Blaine’s neck, but her bright blue eyes are trained on Kurt alone. 

“Hi, Kurt!” Her grin grows and Kurt can see that she’s missing a few teeth. “I like your scarf, can I touch it? It looks really soft. And it’s blue! That’s my second favorite color after pink. Pink is the best.” Blaine chuckles and sets her on the ground. 

“Of course,” Kurt says and kneels in front of her. “Pink looks great on you.” He untwines the scarf from around his neck and wraps it around hers. He gasps noisily and both Blaine and Emilia look at him, alarmed. “Blue looks even better on you!” He tucks the long ends of the scarf into her jacket and she squirms in delight. Kurt glances up at Blaine and finds a sweet smile on his lips. 

“Uncle Joey, Uncle Joey!” Emilia calls racing over to the bar where Joe had apparently been watching the whole exchange judging by the significant glance he gave the two of them. He bends down and engages Emilia in an expressive conversation before Kurt turns to Blaine. 

“She’s absolutely adorable, Blaine,” he gushes, not being able to contain his adoration any longer. This little girl had captured his heart before he knew it was missing. 

“She can be a bit much sometimes, but I love her. She’s a bundle of energy,” Blaine smiles fondly in her direction. Emilia is trying to wrap Kurt’s scarf around Joe’s head in a turban-like fashion. 

“I don’t see the family resemblance at all,” Kurt says and laughs when Blaine whaps him in the arm. They share a small smile before Kurt turns and finally takes in the pub. 

It’s completely dead right now at mid-morning and especially with the storm, but the warm lighting and the classy furniture give it a homey feeling. Kurt traces a finger over the stitching in one of the leather booths. 

“I wanted to sing here once. Back when I first moved to New York,” Kurt confesses, eyes trained on the large stage. Blaine stands at his shoulder. 

“Then why don’t you give it try?” He says simply. Kurt’s neck almost cracks from how sharply it snaps in Blaine’s direction. “Joe won’t mind. I do it all the time. There’s no one here.”

Kurt glances back at Joe and Emilia and finds them both sitting at the bar, Emilia kicking her feet happily with his scarf wrapped back around her neck snugly. He nods nervously at Blaine who gently takes his hand and leads him up to the stage. 

The pub seems to slip away as Kurt bathes in the warm stage lights and feels the hum of simple stage presence move through his bones. He didn’t even realize Blaine had left the stage until he comes back with a guitar slung across his back and two stools, one in each hand. Kurt smiles and accepts one, trying not to let his eyes linger too long on Blaine’s now exposed forearms and how he strums the guitar expertly. He notices Blaine’s hat and coat are gone too and suddenly, Kurt feels overdressed. He neatly folds his coat and hat on top of his stool and looks over at Blaine who wears an amused grin. 

Kurt approaches the microphone and searches his inner repertoire for the right song. It doesn’t take long. It has always been second nature for him to choose the perfect song to express his feelings. “I’m not sure if you’re going to know this one,” Kurt says to Blaine who is strumming lightly on the guitar perched on his knee. 

“Don’t worry about me. You start whenever you’re ready and I’ll chime in if I can,” he says reassuringly. Kurt nods and closes his eyes for a moment. He sees the Blaine from last night behind his eyelids, sitting on the floor, close to tears. He glances at the Blaine beside him, smiling softly, fingers poised on the strings, waiting for him. He takes a breath and grips the mic.

_When your souls weary_   
_When you find doubt_   
_When you can’t hear me_   
_Lay your troubles down_

Blaine either knows this song or is more musically inclined than Kurt already knew because he begins strumming with his words.

_In your dark moments_   
_When your hearts weak_   
_Bring yourself broken_   
_You will find me_

It sounds like a promise on his lips. Kurt glances over at Blaine who watches him carefully for the next verse. Their harmonies float out over the empty booths as if to cover up the emptiness Kurt has felt slowly eat away at his life. 

_Who wrote the rain_   
_Who wrote the sun in_   
_Who called your name_   
_Where are you running_   
_I’m gonna be there near or far_   
_I’m gonna meet you where you are_   
_Who wrote your name_   
_Who wrote the sun in_

And when their eyes meet again, it is as if the sun burnt a hole through Joe’s roof just to shine down on the two of them. Blaine flashes him a smile that sends Kurt’s heart thumping violently against his ribcage.

_When you come thirsty_   
_When the wells dry_   
_When you souls dirty_   
_I am by your side_

_When your faiths broken_   
_When you can’t see_   
_With my arms open_   
_You will find me_

Blaine found Kurt. Kurt found Blaine. He found this wonderful, misguided person in probably one of the worst ways, but in such a short amount of time, this boy has made him forget about everything he once thought was important. 

_You carried all my shame_   
_When you called my name_   
_I am not the same_

Kurt doesn’t know what to do with himself anymore. Blaine has stolen and completely rewritten what he thought his day off was going to be like, pun intended.

As they finish up the song, Kurt sees all the hope and happiness he feels in Blaine’s eyes, but the moment is ruined as his heart constricts. He doesn’t know Blaine. He doesn’t live in his world. He doesn’t know what he’s done, what he will probably still have to do whether Kurt stays in his life or not. Kurt wants to help him, keep him honest and true like his words, but he’s only seventeen. He can barely keep his own life together.

The last chord rings out across the stage and it brings Kurt back to the present. To the boy with the honest eyes and the mop of curly brown hair and Kurt’s heart beating just for him. Kurt realizes that he _needs_ to know him. He has to take the chance; he can’t let Blaine walk out of his life forever.

“Thank you.” The words slip out of his mouth before he realizes he means them wholeheartedly. Blaine’s eyebrows shoot up, but his smile grows. 

“Don’t thank me,” Blaine says and then wiggles his eyebrows adding, “… yet. If I can get Joe to agree, would you like to accompany me on the stage next time I play?”

No force in the world could stop Kurt from saying yes to this boy.


	8. Heart In My Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blaine sings a snippet of the song "Snowglobe" by Matt Wertz, you should totally check it out - it's adorable.

“Joe.”  
“Blaine.”  
“Joe.”  
“Blaine.”  
“ _Joe_ –“  
“Just take it, Blaine. I don’t want to hear it.” Blaine closes his fist around the wad of money. “Now would you please get out of my sight and enjoy a nice meal with your better half and special friend.”

Blaine rolls his eyes, “He’s not my better half, he’s just a friend…”  
“I was referring to Em,” Joe says and raises an eyebrow that says _but this tells me more than you ever meant to say_. 

Blaine flushes and surreptitiously glances at Kurt. He’s sitting in one of the booths holding Emilia’s hands as she bounces up and down in front of him talking a mile a minute. Blaine doesn’t know he’s smiling until he feels the tell tale ache of his cheeks. 

Blaine must not have been as surreptitious as he thought because Joe has a smug smile on his lips as he raises an eyebrow at him. 

“What?”

“Don’t give me that, Blaine. You know _what_.” Blaine _did_ know, but he wasn’t about to admit it to Joe. “Just promise me that you won’t include him in whatever nightly shenanigans you get into when you leave Emilia with me.”

Blaine ducks his head, but Joe must have caught the guilt written all over his face. 

“You didn’t,” Joe sharply inhales at Blaine’s silence. “ _That’s_ what you’ve been doing – Are _you_ selling your – Is he – Is _Kurt_ a – “ 

At the sight of Joe’s eyes nearly falling out of his head, Blaine finally catches on and sputters, “No! No no no no _no_. I can’t believe you would think that of _him_ , Joe, of _me_! He’s not a,” Blaine drops his voice to a hushed whisper, “ _male prostitute_ for God sakes. And neither am I.”

“Well, what am I supposed to think, Blaine? You leave Em with me overnight and you don’t come back until really early in the morning and you never talk about what you do on those nights, but suddenly you have money that I didn’t give you and you come back today with _him_ \- and I’m _worried_ , Blaine. I’m worried about what Emilia thinks of you when you leave her for so long, I’m worried about what you think of yourself when you believe that you need to do these _things_ , whatever they are, in order to get by. You know I would take you up as a busboy or hell, even a regular musician from week to week, but I didn’t know it was _this_ bad, Blaine. I thought you were looking for jobs, I didn’t know you were doing unspeakable things at night!” 

Joe’s breathing heavily now as if he had been keeping that in for a while. 

Blaine shakes his head, his eyes prickling, he looks anywhere but Joe. “I’m sorry, Joe. But you don’t understand, I have to do this.” Blaine’s heart falls with Joe’s face. He wishes he could tell him what he does, what he _must_ do. But he can’t. He thought he could at some point, but he really can’t. This is something he’s going to have to live with. He doesn’t want to burden Joe any more than he already has. He owes everything to Joe, but he can’t tell him this. Blaine turns away. He can’t tell the one other person that means the _world_ to him about his dirtiest secret, he _can’t_ , it would _ruin_ him - 

“Blaine, you can’t take on the world alone,” Joe says grasping Blaine’s wrist but he wrenches out of his grip. “It’s okay to ask for help – “

“I don’t need your help! I need you to back off!” Blaine yells and his voice is too loud in the near empty pub. Kurt and Emilia shift their gazes from Blaine to Joe, both uneasy with the tension that just exploded. Blaine’s quickly repulsed by his own words and the look it conjures on Joe’s face. He couldn’t let Joe poke him more or he definitely would have burst, spilling his deepest secret. He’d rather have Joe angry with him – he’d reconcile later. 

Blaine grabs Emilia’s layers and walks over to Kurt and his sister. He kneels in front of her and gives her a small smile, “Hey, you hungry?” Her eyes are wide and worried as she stares at him, leaning back against Kurt’s bent legs. She slowly nods. Blaine chances a glance at Kurt who looks calm but calculating. “Then let’s get you bundled up, okay?”

Joe has disappeared somewhere when Blaine looks back. He helps Emilia into her coat and mittens. He’s just tying on her scarf when Kurt snags her hat off the floor and jams it over his own head. “Hey!” Emilia laughs, leaning up against his legs and reaching for her hat. 

Kurt smiles mischievously, “ _I’m_ ready to go outside, are you?”

“Kuuuuuuurt, I need my hat!” She says bouncing up and down trying to take it off his head.

“Ohhh, you mean _this_ hat,” Kurt feigns comprehension and plucks the hat off his head and places it snugly over Emilia’s curls. Blaine’s heart warms at their interaction and the adorable mess Kurt’s made of his hair. His mind races forward, offering dreams where he fixes Kurt’s hair for him and pulls Kurt into his arms, where he’s part of their small, unusual family and they wake up together, bedhead and all, and Blaine can run his hands through his thick hair because they’re boyfriends and the two of them do shows every week at the Pub and Emilia cheers for them and Joe isn’t mad at him - 

“I’m ready, B, I’m ready!” Emilia says tugging on each one of his unruly curls that are already sticking out. 

“Okay, okay! Let’s go then,” Blaine says and Emilia races over to the heavy doors trying to push them herself. Blaine’s torn between making sure Emilia doesn’t actually go outside alone, getting his coat, and talking to Kurt who’s resolutely standing in front of him. 

“Kur-“  
“I got your coat and scarf and stuff,” Kurt says, effectively cutting him off and offering the pile of layers. He then turns and swings his own coat on, wrapping his scarf around his neck quickly. “Well, I should get going. This weather is insane and I should take advantage of my day off and get some work done, I know that’s stupid and exactly the opposite of what I should do, but I can’t just – “

Kurt bites his lip and looks away. Blaine scrambles for something to say, _anything_ to keep Kurt with him. He knows he doesn’t deserve to be in his presence for as long as he has, but he _needs_ this kind of normalcy, he needs to be with people other than Emilia and Joe. And if he’s honest with himself, he can’t say all his feelings are innocent when it’s about Kurt. And, well, his intentions haven’t been honorable thus far anyway.

“ _Pleasestay_ ,” Blaine blurts, his face heating up. He tries again, slower this time. “If you want… you are welcome to come to lunch with Emilia and I.” 

The color in Kurt’s cheeks darkens as he stammers, “I- I have- um… I… know a place.” Blaine’s face breaks out into a contagious grin that has Kurt tentatively smiling too. 

“Kuuuurt! Beeeee! Let’s gooooo!” Emilia whines from the front door. Blaine rolls his eyes at her as he shrugs on his coat and wraps his scarf securely around his neck. He jams his hat over his curls and helps Emilia with the door; Kurt follows behind them into the blistering cold. 

The snow is still swirling and whirling about creating a snow globe effect on the big city. Emilia says as much when they’re stopped at a crosswalk, “It’s like we’re in a snow globe!”

Blaine grabs her hands and twirls her about, singing.

_Sometimes I wished I lived in a snow globe, where the wind blows, it’s wonderful_   
_And every single time that you shake it, you make it, snow_

Blaine starts shaking his butt in a ridiculous fashion, clearly trying to make Emilia – and Kurt - laugh, which he succeeds at spectacularly. Kurt’s still clutching his side as they walk across the street and Emilia is still giggling as she pokes Blaine’s butt every few steps.

“Hey!” Blaine says grabbing her hand after the tenth poke. He stuffs her hand inside his coat pocket with his own. Emilia starts to reach towards him with her other hand when Kurt scoops up the offending limb and joins it with his own inside his pocket. Blaine smiles gratefully at Kurt and Kurt returns the smile. It’s the first real one he’s seen since they left Joe’s Pub. 

With Emilia walking between them holding both of their hands, the moment seems so intimate to Blaine. Emilia is the one person in the world that he cares about more than life itself and Kurt… Kurt just easily fits. Blaine sees someone that opened up his home to a complete stranger, someone who was trying to steal from him too, and he graciously took Blaine in at one of his lowest points. Kurt’s seen Blaine at his worst, literally. And yet, he’s still here. 

He’s staring at him. Kurt’s staring at him. Blaine tunes back in. “Blaine?”

“Yes, yes, what?”

“We’re here,” Kurt smiles and nods towards the place behind Blaine. He turns and nearly laughs out loud at the irony. 

“This is our place, B!” Emilia says and rushes to open the door. Blaine helps her as they usher themselves inside.

At Kurt’s confused look, Blaine explains with a laugh, “We come here all the time. It’s our favorite place.” 

It’s Kurt’s turn to laugh, “Really? Wow, I come here all the time too. It’s a wonder we haven’t bumped into each other before…” They both stare at each other, the what-ifs and could-have-beens lingering between them.

“B! B! Our table’s open!” Blaine glances over at the table by the window and smiles.

“Well, you should go grab it then!” He says pushing her towards the table and she takes off, weaving between the other tables and people. He makes sure to keep her in his line of vision as he and Kurt stand in line. 

“Sooo…” Kurt exhales, chuckling dryly. Blaine sighs.

“Kurt, I’m sorry,” Blaine starts and Kurt begins to talk, but Blaine cuts him off. “I’m sorry for last night and today with Joe. I shouldn’t have yelled at him - especially in front of you and Emilia. You shouldn’t have to deal with me and my messed up life. I’m sorry you’re involved in this at all and I should just leave you alone – “

“Blaine. Stop.” Kurt’s grip on Blaine’s arm is firm but comforting as his thumb rubs the crook of Blaine’s elbow. They’re silent for a moment as they move forward in line and Kurt’s hand drops to rub soothingly at Blaine’s wrist. “I can’t possibly understand what you’re going through, but you need to stop beating yourself up. It seems like life has done enough of that for you.” That gets a smile out of Blaine. 

Kurt drops his hand to squeeze Blaine’s, which receives a more genuine smile. They’re finally at the front of the line and Blaine stops Kurt before he orders and says, “I got this one, I owe you.” Kurt doesn’t argue, the look on Blaine’s face tells him he’s been dying to pay Kurt back. 

As they’re waiting for their food and Blaine has an eye on Emilia playing with sugar packets, Kurt speaks. “I need to apologize.” 

“What?!” Blaine says, confused. Kurt has _nothing_ to be sorry for and he’s about to say as much when Kurt interrupts him.

“I just – I guess I’m sorry that I don’t know how to help you, Blaine. I do, I really do want to help you. I just don’t know _how_. I mean I know you need money, I don’t want you to steal anymore from people like me, but I’m not exactly rolling in dough – “

“Kurt. Stop.” Blaine gives Kurt a wry look and then his face turns serious. “You don’t need to help me, I appreciate it, but I don’t need help. Emilia and I are doing fine. I’m working on it.” 

Kurt nods slowly and Blaine notices that the smile he has on doesn’t reach his eyes. Kurt doesn’t buy his words at all. As they take their food back to the table, Blaine decides to think of actual ways to create an income later. Joe’s offers from earlier float into his mind and he grimaces. He needs to fix that too. 

“Food!” Emilia chirps, squirming in her seat. Blaine sets her grilled cheese in front of her and a small cup of water. 

“Does that look okay, Em? Do you need anything else?” With a big bite of grilled cheese in her mouth, she shakes her head and happily chews. Kurt chuckles as he tucks into his pesto chicken sandwich across the table. Blaine allows himself to start eating his turkey wrap.

They’re all silent for a moment as they enjoy their food, but soon Emilia is addressing him around a mouth full of cheese. “B?”

“Yes, Em?”

“Why are you mad at Uncle Joey?” Blaine can feel Kurt’s eyes on him; Emilia is just playing with her fries and ketchup, waiting for his answer.

“I’m not mad at Uncle Joey,” Blaine began. He sets down his turkey wrap. “I just didn’t agree with him on something.” Kurt gives him a questioning look and Blaine deflects to Emilia who looks in deep concentration. “Does that make sense?”

“I guess… but Uncle Joey’s right about everything,” Emilia said, matter-of-factly. 

Blaine chuckles, “Uncle Joey _thinks_ he’s right about everything.” When Emilia looks confused, Blaine adds, “I mean, he is right about most things, but this is just between me and him, okay?”

Emilia nods, satisfied. She trusts Blaine wholeheartedly and it makes Blaine _ache_ with guilt. He wishes he didn’t have to go to such lengths because the deeper he digs the hole, the closer she is to danger. 

In that moment, Blaine decides to stop. Stop stealing. Stop this ridiculous vendetta. He needs to think of Emilia. He needs to be a better person for her, a better brother and a better example. And Kurt. He wants to be better because of him. He smiles to himself. He’s only known this guy for a _day_ and he’s changing his ways for him. He shares the smile with Kurt and it’s tentatively returned over their sandwiches. 

Blaine believes he’s going to be okay.

* * *

“So… I guess I’ll see you later?” Blaine hates how hopeful his voice sounds in thin, winter air swirling around them. Emilia clutches his hand in her mitten as she tries to catch snowflakes on her tongue. Kurt smiles at the sight and reassures Blaine with a quick nod.

“Hopefully on stage… in front of a lot of people…” Kurt hints and looks at Blaine pointedly. He chuckles good-naturedly as his heart squeezes - _Kurt wants to see him again, on stage, performing together oh god._

“Well, now I’m _sure_ you’re using me for my stage connections,” Blaine quips, half joking. Kurt leans in close to him and Blaine nearly chokes on his breath.

“Only as much as you’re using me for Vogue designs,” Kurt whispers in jest, his eyes twinkling with mirth. He laughs with Kurt. Blaine knows it’s supposed to be a joke, but there’s a twinge in his stomach reminding him of the truth he keeps from Kurt. The truth he could never tell him because it would completely _ruin_ them both. 

And then he watches Kurt crouch next to Emilia, tucking loose strands of hair back into her hat and zipping her coat up higher. And it falls away again. Nothing else matters when he has Kurt and Emilia next to him. 

“Bye, Em. We will hang out soon, okay?” Kurt says and Emilia nods enthusiastically, wrapping her tiny arms around Kurt’s neck. He briefly squeezes back before returning to his full height.

“Kuuuurt, can we hang out tooooo?” Blaine whines and earns not only a smack on the arm from Kurt but a toothy grin as well. 

Kurt exaggerates a sigh, “I guess.” He pauses before reaching down and holding Blaine’s hand. Despite the gloves between them, Blaine’s heart jumps in his chest at the contact. “I’d love to see you again, Blaine. And on purpose rather than a stroke of serendipity.” 

“Okay,” Blaine manages to get out before Kurt squeezes his hand and walks the other way down the sidewalk. Blaine curses himself in his head. He’s already falling. 

But maybe this is what he needs. Maybe he needs someone like Kurt who grounds him and reminds him of what’s important. He knows he’s been lost. He’s been lost without his parent’s guidance and the newfound weight of being a brother and a parent for Emilia and suddenly having to worry about money and where their next meal is coming from. Caring for Emilia has always come easy, but sometimes he needs a break. Sometimes he wants to feel _normal._

Blaine thinks back on his decision earlier with Emilia’s hand grasped firmly in his own, blistering winter winds fighting against them. He’s going to strive for stability. And he’s going to do it honestly. He owes that much to Emilia. Blaine thinks about the phrase ‘turning over a new leaf’ and thinks, since it’s winter, it should be snowflake. He smiles at his internal quip. 

Blaine doesn’t, however, realize that a snowflake is the same on both sides. Both equally beautiful, but also equally flawed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read reviews  
> when I'm feeling blue  
> they mean the world to me  
> thank you
> 
> (apparently I do  
> spontaneous poetry too)


	9. You've Got A Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Update on the updates:** I can't promise a steady update schedule or end date for this story. I do have the plot somewhat planned out, but it's a matter of actually setting aside time that I don't have to actually write it out how I'd like. 
> 
> I greatly appreciate everyone who's subscribed and followed this story for this long. I DO plan on finishing it.
> 
> Thanks so much for sticking with me :)

Kurt feels like he’s floating. He bustles around the kitchen making a cup of tea before sitting down at his desk for some nightly sketches. He already finished all of his preparation for work tomorrow; he wants some time for himself. 

He shades in a slim black suit and details the white suit next to it. He likes to imagine wearing his designs to award ceremonies – if he ever gets there.

Fashion is one of the main reasons he came to New York anyway. That and Broadway. Kurt hates to admit, even to himself, that he’s given up on those dreams; although, the stage at Joe’s Pub is as good a place to start as any, if Kurt’s being honest. And the company’s definitely not bad either…

And if one of the faceless models on the page happens to have dark, curly hair well – that’s a complete coincidence. 

And therein lies the last tiny clause in his list of reasons to move to New York – the dating pool. There wasn’t much of one in Ohio, not to mention the population of Lima was small in the first place. 

But Kurt doesn’t even want a relationship. He came to New York to start his career, to continue his passion and _finally_ live his life. He felt stagnant and suppressed in Ohio but here – here he could really grow. 

And then Blaine climbed through his window. Of all the people he’s met and guys he’s fended off, why did Blaine stick? 

Kurt can’t get him off his mind. There’s something about him that he’s completely taken by. It could be his charm, the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, his voice, his dashing good looks, or his way with Emilia. Maybe it’s the fact that he would do anything to protect and care for the one person he loves – the one person he has left. 

But he’s not alone. He has Kurt now - right? 

Kurt wants to be there for him, to help him through this obviously rough transition in his life, but he doesn’t know how to help. Blaine says he has everything under control but wasn’t last night an obvious example that he doesn’t?

Kurt decides not to meddle. That isn’t his life and he doesn’t have a say in it. 

Although, it couldn’t hurt to be around Blaine more, just to check up on him and make sure he’s okay? It would be for Blaine’s benefit, of course. Not his own. 

 

* * *

 

The guitar hums through the room and mingles with the light chatter of the pub-goers. Blaine is perched on a bar stool next to Emilia who amuses herself by spinning around on hers. 

“Em, you’re going to be sick,” Blaine chastises half-heartedly. He knows she’ll stop on her own if she feels sick. 

“Everything’s dizzy,” Emilia giggles, pushing off Blaine’s knee to spin again. 

Blaine’s been waiting for a lull in the dinner rush so that Joe will talk to him. It doesn’t look promising with Joe neatly polishing a row of clean glasses for second time since Blaine had sat down. And Joe knows he’s here, Blaine has to play tonight. Plus, Emilia’s here and Joe can’t stay away from her for long. She’s like the daughter he never had. 

As if on cue, Joe approaches their side of the bar. “Emmy, you’re going to be sick if you keep doing that!” His nickname for her always brings a smile to Emilia’s face. 

“That’s what I told her,” Blaine says, chancing a glance at Joe. He returns the look apprehensively. 

“Well, she apparently inherited the same trait of ‘not listening’,” Joe deadpans. Blaine winces internally. He’s not looking forward to this talk. Emilia stops spinning but apparently her body isn’t because she continues to tilt sideways. Blaine quickly catches her.

“You’re up soon,” Joe remarks, wiping down the bar absently. “I’ll watch, Em.” 

“Joe, I – “

“Save it. We’ll talk later.”

Blaine sighs and presses a kiss to Emilia’s head before heading backstage.

 

* * *

 

Blaine stays longer than usual backstage, talking to the other musicians and swapping stories. He wishes he had time to write more music. He used to write constantly when he lived at home with his parents. He had notebooks full of lyrics and guitar chords – those were some of the only things he took with him when he and Emilia fled. He hopes he can make them profitable someday. He just needs to get on his own two feet first. 

“Woah, he came back.” Joe says sarcastically as Blaine approaches the bar. “I was expecting you to disappear between the stage and the bar.”

Blaine doesn’t dignify that with a response. He _has_ been ungrateful to Joe; he knows that. He doesn’t want to give Joe the satisfaction of rubbing that in his face though. 

“Emilia’s in bed upstairs,” Joe says as he gathers up the last of the empty glasses that scatter the bar. “She said I should let you have your way because sometimes you get crabby when you don’t.” 

Blaine shoots him a look. “Hey, her words – not mine.” 

Blaine struggles for a moment before settling with the easiest thing to say. “Look, I’m sorry, Joe.” 

He hangs the dishtowel over his shoulder and leans forward on the bar. “Are you?”

“Yes,” Blaine says as sincerely as he can. “I’ve made mistakes. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. And I’ve taken advantage of your hospitality.”

“Does that mean you’re moving out?” Joe asks with faux excitement. 

Blaine smiles through his attempted glare, “No, sorry to disappoint.”

They’re both quiet for a moment. 

“I want to change, Joe,” Blaine confesses. The barman raises his eyebrows. “I want to do better. I want to _be_ better.” 

“You must _really_ like him.”

“ _Joe._ ”

Joe cracks the first smile all night. “Okay, Blaine. I’m going to help you out. Here’s the deal: as a new man, you need to stop your nightly shenanigans and come work for me as a busboy. Of course, you can keep your shifts on stage, in fact, I need the crowd you bring in.” 

Blaine gives him a genuine smile, “Okay, on one condition.” 

“Blaine, I don’t think you’re in the position to be asking – “

“Kurt can sing with me,” Blaine blurts. 

A smile slowly forms on Joe’s lips as he holds out his hand, “Deal.”

 

* * *

 

It’s about two weeks later on a Wednesday night when Kurt meets Blaine at their usual café. This will be their seventh meeting – he calls it a _date_ in his head – since they met, not that Kurt’s counting. 

His heart stutters in his chest when his eyes land on the mop of curly hair in the back booth. As much as Kurt loves Emilia, he’s also very fond of having Blaine to himself. There’s less pressure on him and he seems freer. 

“Hi, Kurt!” Blaine says, eyebrows jumping and eyes lighting up. He pushes a coffee cup across to him as Kurt slides in the booth. “I got your coffee. Grande non-fat mocha.”

“You know my coffee order?” Kurt says, bewildered.

“Kurt, we have met a _few_ times for coffee,” Blaine quips. It’s times like these that Kurt wonders if Blaine just likes to say his name.

“Yes, yes. I’m aware, but you didn’t have to do that,” Kurt says getting flustered. 

“But I wanted to,” Blaine says. “And now that I’m a busboy, I’m making some extra money so...”

Kurt hums an agreeing noise as he takes a sip of his mocha, “I’m sure it has nothing to do with making up for the fact that you broke into my apartment to steal my company’s designs.”

It’s adorable when Blaine tries to glare at him because it totally doesn’t work. “Nothing at all,” Blaine says good-naturedly. “Although that particular failure might take my entire life to make up for.”

“Hmmmm, an entire lifetime’s worth of coffee,” Kurt muses. “I like the sound of that, Anderson. You have yourself a deal.” He takes another sip of his coffee but sees Blaine shift uncomfortably on the other side of the booth. “Are you okay, Blaine?”

“Would – would you, as part of the deal of course, would you be willing to add, um… dinner to that?” Blaine looks cautiously up at Kurt who’s trying not to freak out – he has to be sure he’s hearing this right.

“Are you asking me out, Blaine?” 

“Um, yes. But if that makes you uncomfortable or you don’t want to then just pretend like it didn’t happen, I didn’t say anything and –“

“Blaine.” Sometimes, Kurt just loves saying his name too.

For the second time since Kurt met him, he looks absolutely terrified.

“I would love to go out with you, Blaine.” 

“Really?!” Blaine looks like he just won the lottery and grins and nods. “Wow, um. Well then I have something else to ask.”

Now it’s Kurt’s turn to be nervous. “Oh, okay.”

Blaine chuckles, “If you hadn’t said yes to dinner, I still would have bribed you with this.” Kurt’s interest is piqued and he raises his eyebrows. “I’m thinking dinner at the Pub and then after… we can stick around and sing for a bit?”

Kurt’s jaw drops. “Yes, yes. Oh gosh that would be amazing,” he gushes. “I thought you’d forgotten about your promise.”

“I’d never forget a promise to you, Kurt.” Blaine’s eyes are so sincere and Kurt just wants to wrap this boy in his arms, but he can’t over the table. He settles for holding out his hand over the table. Blaine eagerly covers Kurt’s hand with both of his own. 

“So, what are you doing on Friday?”

“Someone’s confident,” Kurt laughs and Blaine’s eyes crinkle. “Unfortunately, I’m already going to dinner with this dapper young gentleman. He’s really quite something.”

Blaine looks putout for a second before he shakes his head, smiling. He squeezes Kurt’s hand. “Meet me at the Pub around five? Joe wants to hear you sing first.”

Despite his sudden nerves, Kurt nods, excited. “I can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews/comments are welcomed and cherished :)


	10. Can't You See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of Kurt's past is drudged up and not all of it is canon compliant... there is also some bitterness towards Rachel.

Kurt can’t believe it’s only Wednesday. It feels like an eternity stand between him and Friday night. He’s never felt more like an adult than he does now - he actually has _plans_. Real, honest-to-goodness, dinner-date plans with Blaine. Oh right – and then he get’s to sing on stage with him at freaking _Joe’s Pub_ after. 

Kurt’s having a hard time waiting. Well, working. 

Over the past few weeks, his work had started to pile up on his desk and he was tragically behind. Thankfully, fashion was something he was passionate about and, though it was tedious work to put together the season’s fashion booklet, it was very rewarding to see the results. 

He is just putting the finishing touches on one of the pages when he hears a knock on the window of his office. Isabelle waves from the hallway dressed in an adorable skirt and boot combo. She gestures to the door and Kurt nods, already smiling. Isabelle does that to him. 

“Hey, honey. How are you doing?” She says closing the door behind her. 

“Good, good. Just finishing up a spread. What’s up?” He says, really looking at her as she perches gingerly on a chair in front of his desk. She smiles lightly at him but there’s a crease between her eyebrows that gives her away. 

“Oh, no. It’s nothing. I just wanted to see how you’re doing,” she says easily, but Kurt can see right through her. He’s worked with her long enough; they’ve become really close. He arches an eyebrow. She sighs heavily and looks away for a moment, then flicks her gaze back to Kurt. “It’s about our favorite person.” 

“Wonderful,” he mutters. Isabelle chuckles. They’ve come to refer to their boss, Norah Simmons, as their ‘favorite person’ just in case she happens to be listening in or has people listening for her around the office. They’ve both heard rumors but Kurt thinks it’s all nonsense. 

As head editor of Vogue magazine, she’s terrifying, frustrating, demanding, and brilliant. She’s one of his idols in the fashion world; Kurt has to slap himself any time he sees her working in the office and giving her critique to the designers. And then she turns around and becomes the devil in high heels straight from _The Devil Wears Prada_ and he’s back to being astounded that people like her actually exist. 

“ _Norah_ ,” Isabelle says while rolling her eyes, “would like to bring to everyone’s attention that there might be a mole inside the office. She’s paranoid that someone from Elle is amongst us and giving them previews of our line.” 

All the air must have been sucked out of the room because suddenly Kurt can’t breathe. His first thought is Blaine, but he couldn’t have anything to do with this – right? But Blaine never did explain whom he would have given the designs to… Kurt’s heartbeat speeds up and his palms are definitely sweating. He rubs his hands on his pants and tries to hide the slight tremors that have started. He takes a breath, “Oh, really? Where’d she get that idea?” 

Thankfully, Isabelle doesn’t seem to notice the change in Kurt. “Like I said, she’s paranoid. I mean this kind of stuff happens all the time in movies, but we have great security here. No one could possibly get in.”

“Yeah, seriously,” he says trying not to think about Blaine or the sketches he almost lost. 

“Plus, the staff here is great. Everyone loves working here; we’re dedicated to our jobs. Norah’s just skeptical of everyone,” Isabelle just shrugs like this all isn’t a big deal, which it probably wouldn’t be if Kurt hadn’t just witnessed someone trying to steal the sketches he was sworn to keep safe earlier this month. 

“Yeah, Norah’s just being weird,” he remarks hoping Isabelle will switch subjects. She doesn’t get the chance though because at that moment someone else knocks on Kurt’s window and immediately opens his door. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” It’s Devon, one of the senior managers on the floor who works with Isabelle. 

“Oh, no. Not at all!” Isabelle says, no trace of their conversation left in her features. 

“Good because Norah’s calling an emergency meeting and everyone needs to be there, you too, Kurt,” he says, nodding in his direction. Kurt sighs internally. He hates meetings. Mostly because Norah yells at them more than she praises them. 

“Is this about the _mole_?” Isabelle says, mouthing the last word. Devon laughs.

“Probably. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had people frisking everyone as they went into the meeting,” he quips. Kurt groans and the two managers laugh. They file out into the hallway towards the conference room for the meeting. 

Kurt counts down the hours until he sees Blaine again.

* * *

It’s just before closing time. Blaine is wiping down the last table, humming to himself. Bussing tables for the past month has actually been therapeutic for him. He’s been able to really decompress and focus on his tasks instead of worrying about everything. Being a busboy isn’t too bad, especially since he doesn’t have to leave the Pub to go to work. Joe’s is his home and it feels right to help out here to earn his keep. He knows Joe would never throw him out. Not unless he knew about – No. Joe will never find out about that, so it’s not even an option. 

“Blaine!” He looks over at the bar, Joe gestures to the kitchen. “I need help with the dishes when you’re done there.” Blaine gives him a thumbs up as he finishes off the table. He’s about to head to the back when his pocket starts buzzing. He frowns as he pulls out his phone. And then his stomach drops at the name on the caller ID. 

He answers, turning away from the kitchen even though he’s on the far side of the dining hall. “Why are you calling me?”

There’s a rough chuckle on the other side of the line. “What? No pleasantries? I’m hurt, Blaine.” 

“What do you want?” 

“I see, all business. Well, you never called after our last meeting and I started to get worried.” Blaine rolls his eyes. 

“As if you’ve ever cared about my well-being.”

“Well, Blaine. That’s not what I’m paid for, so no. I don’t care. What I do care about is whether or not you got what we talked about.” His stomach drops. He glances at the kitchen again. 

“No. I didn’t.” There’s silence on the other end of the line. 

“I’m disappointed, Blaine,” the change in his tone is drastic. It raises the hair on Blaine’s neck. “I thought this was what you wanted.” 

“No.” This was never what he wanted. He never wanted to sneak around his family and hurt other people and make a mess of things. He never wanted this. He just didn’t think he had a choice back then. Now that he does, now that he has two stable jobs and has started to let people back into his heart after his parents left a gaping void – he wants out. 

“No?” the derision in his voice is palpable. “You don’t get to say _no_ , Blaine. We had a deal.”

Blaine’s mind immediately goes to Emilia. He can’t let them take her. He needs her as much as she needs him. 

He backpedals, “Okay, okay. Just – can I have a different assignment or something?”

The voice laughs again. “You don’t get to choose. You get the designs for the new line from Hummel or it’s over for you.” 

The dial tone blares loudly in his ear, signaling the end of the call. The kitchen doors creak open behind him. 

“Blaine?” Joe asks, concerned as Blaine turns to face him. “You alright?”

He pockets his phone and musters up a fake smile, “Of course. Sorry, I’ll be there in a sec.” Blaine knows Joe didn’t buy his smile for one second. Heck, he can’t even lie to himself. 

Things just got really bad.

* * *

Kurt had worked extra hours on Thursday to leave earlier for his date. It was almost 4pm on Friday and Kurt was gathering up his things, almost bursting with excitement for the night to come. Double-checking his desk one last time, he flicks off the lights and closes his office door. 

On his way out, he stops by Isabelle’s office. He’s about to knock on the glass when he realizes she’s having a meeting with Devon. They both glance up when he waivers in front of the glass and Isabelle beams. She waves him in, slipping off the glasses she had perched on her nose. 

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” he apologizes. 

“Not at all, Kurt. We’re just comparing notes,” Isabelle says.

“What’s up?” asks Devon, leaning back in his chair. 

“Oh, I just wanted to remind you that I’m heading out early,” Kurt nods in Isabelle’s direction, unable to keep the grin off his face. 

“Oh that’s right. It’s date night, isn’t it?” she gives him a sly smile and he feels flushed. 

“Date night?” Devon raises an eyebrow. “How come I haven’t heard about this?” 

“Because you’re a gossip, Devon Mathers. You can’t even keep a secret for an hour!” Isabelle accuses, smiling. 

Devon puts a hand on his chest, mock offended, “I can’t believe you would think such a thing!” 

Kurt laughs and Isabelle turns back to him, “Well, we won’t keep you any longer, but I expect all the details on Monday, mister!” 

“Okay,” Kurt laughs, waving goodbye to the two of them.

His stomach twists in knots the entire way back to his apartment. He still needs to get ready and make sure he looks stage presentable but also stunning for his date with Blaine and he has no idea what they’re going to sing but it’s going to be in front of a lot of people and it’s the first time Kurt’s been on stage in a while but he’s going to be with Blaine so why is he freaking out? 

Back at his apartment, Kurt decides to go a bit simpler with his wardrobe, a white Henley underneath a charcoal vest and a dark blue scarf, complete with his favorite black skinny jeans. Kurt calls Blaine as he grabs his coat and his keys. 

“Hello?” Blaine answers anxiously. 

“Hey, Blaine. Are you okay? 

“Oh, hey, Kurt! Yeah, yeah. I’m fine…” 

His voice sounds a little off to Kurt, but he disregards this in favor of asking, “We’re still on for tonight right?” 

“Yes! Yes, of course! I’m actually really excited. I can’t keep still,” Blaine confesses, his tone back to normal. Kurt can almost see him blushing. 

“Good, me too. I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”

“You – You have?” Blaine says with a tone of disbelief. 

“Yes, you idiot. This is going to be the best part of my week, I already know it.” Kurt says matter-of-factly. 

“Oh.” 

Kurt laughs at his sudden speechlessness, “I’m leaving right now so I’ll see you in a few, okay?”

“Okay, right. See you soon, Kurt!”

* * *

Kurt’s laughter rings joyously in his ear even after he hangs up. That boy is going to be the end of him. 

His stomach drops. If Kurt does ever figure out what Blaine’s been doing, Kurt’s inevitable rejection _will_ end him. No matter which action he chooses to take, stealing the designs or not stealing the designs, he loses. He drops his head onto the bar and groans. 

“Boy troubles?” A voice says behind the bar and Blaine knows its Joe. 

“No,” Blaine says, though he knows it’s only part of the problem. 

“Oh, come on, Blaine. I’m a bartender, you can trust me,” Joe quips and Blaine lifts his head enough to give Joe a playful glare. “Is Kurt on his way?”

“Yeah, he just called,” Blaine says, a wistful smile turns his lips. 

Joe hums in acknowledgement, raising his eyebrows. “And did he sound excited?” 

“Yeah,” Blaine breaks into a grin, “He says he’s been looking forward to this all week.” 

Joe shares his smile. “Well, I’m certainly excited to hear the both of you sing up there together. Do you have a set list figured out?”

“Do I ever?” Blaine jokes. Joe gives a deep belly laugh before he heads to the kitchen.

* * *

Kurt shows up not too long after in a flurry of snow. His cheeks tinged pink, Blaine thinks he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 

“H-Hi,” he stutters, wondering why his nerves choose to show up _now_. 

“Hey, yourself,” Kurt says, breathless from the cold outside. He unwinds the scarf from around his neck. Blaine gestures to follow him and Kurt falls into step beside him.

“So, how was work?” Blaine manages. He doesn’t understand why the fact that this is a date creates such an added pressure and makes even simple speech difficult. 

Kurt flashes him a smile. “Oh, the usual. Catty conversation, deadlines, and fashion.”

Blaine laughs. “That sounds so dull, Kurt. I don’t know how you do it. I mean, my life as a busboy is _way_ more exciting.” 

Kurt chuckles good-naturedly but it stops in his throat when he catches sight of their booth. He’s speechless as he takes in the flower petals strewn over the table and the candles waiting to be lit in the center of the table. The booth is tucked away in the back of the pub so they won’t be bothered. 

Blaine is suddenly anxious that Kurt hasn’t said anything, “Is it too much? It’s probably too much - I just went for a grand gesture you know? I’m not very good at romance, I mean I climbed through your window, but that definitely wasn’t to save you, not that you need saving –“ 

“Blaine.” He looks up from the floor he had been studying. Kurt looks like he’s about to cry and it makes Blaine want to cry in anguish. He messed this up _again_ – “I love it.” 

“Wait – what?” 

“I love it. I love that you tried. It’s more than anybody has ever done for me.” Kurt grasps his hand and gently squeezes. “Thank you.” Blaine feels like he’s going to explode with all of the emotions coursing through him. 

Kurt beams at him and gestures to the booth, “Shall we sit?”

“Oh, right, yes!” Blaine babbles and slides into the booth across from Kurt. Their faces are bathed in candlelight and Blaine can see the slight blush painted across Kurt’s cheeks to the tips of his ears. All Blaine can do is smile. “Hi.” 

“Hi,” Kurt replies. He glances away for a second before looking back at Blaine. “I need to tell you something.” 

Blaine’s heart stutters. “Okay?”

“Well, it’s kind of silly really…” Blaine takes Kurt’s hands and they share a shy smile. “It’s been awhile since I’ve been on stage and I’m… nervous.”

“A bit of stage fright?” Blaine’s heart eases at the confession. “Well, that’s nothing that can’t be cured!” 

“But that’s just it, I’ve never had stage fright in my life! I’ve always been excited before performances, never scared or nervous… I think it’s because this is Joe’s Pub. This is a venue I would have dreamed of singing at before…” His eyes glaze over as he seems to slip into a distant memory. 

Blaine doesn’t want to pry, but he’s curious. Kurt’s talked about home and his friends and show choir before, but he never so much as touched on how he came to be in New York or why he decided to skip the college route. “Before…?”

Kurt snaps back to the present. “Well, before you, of course!” Blaine can tell he’s covering but decides not to call him out. Besides, Blaine has secrets to hide too. 

“Kurt!” Joe appears next to their table and shakes Kurt’s hand firmly. “Nice to see you again. Are you two ready to order yet, or do you need to exchange more doe-eyed looks?”

“ _Joe_ ,” Blaine hisses, but Kurt just laughs.

“I actually haven’t even looked at the menu,” says Kurt. 

“No worries, I am the boss around here so I will serve you our best dishes, on me,” he says with a wink to Blaine. 

“Joe!” Blaine starts.

“I couldn’t – “ Kurt begins. 

“Boys!” Joe chuckles. “You’re doing two sets for me tonight, which will hopefully bring in more people, so the least I can do is feed you both.” The boys look at each other and then nod in agreement. “Now, while I put in your orders, how about you pop up on that stage for a song, Kurt. A little preview if you will.” 

“Wait, right now? Like, right this second?” Kurt’s gone pale. Blaine grabs his hand. 

“Kurt, you’re going to be great. I know you will.” 

“Come on, champ. There’s barely anyone here. Best practice now,” Joe says, gesturing Kurt to follow. Blaine tugs on Kurt’s hand and they weave in between tables to the stage.

The Pub isn’t too busy yet since it’s barely 5pm, there’s probably ten people scattered throughout the dining area, but soon the usual crowd will shuffle in to settle in for their set. 

Joe stops at the bottom step of the stage. “You ready, Kurt?” 

Kurt looks about ready to pass out but there’s a determined glint in his eye that wasn’t there a few seconds ago. “Yes.” Blaine squeezes his hand and Kurt gives him a faint smile. 

“Good, me and Blaine’ll be seated at the bar, get the real feel of your performance and such – “

Joe turns and Blaine is about to follow when Kurt latches onto Blaine’s hand once more. “If I could have one request?” Joe nods to show he’s listening. “Could Blaine play guitar for me?” 

“Of course,” he says, clapping Blaine on the shoulder and turning towards the bar. 

“Oh gosh, I didn’t ask you if that was okay – is that okay?” Kurt’s voice raises an octave and Blaine brings their intertwined hands to his chest. 

“Kurt, I would love to.” Kurt’s anxious expression melts into a smile and Blaine pulls him to the stage. 

Blaine has always felt at home on the Pub’s stage with his guitar in his hands or the baby grand laid out in front of him. He can practically feel the tension rolling off Kurt in waves as they perch on their respective bar stools. Blaine shoots Kurt a reassuring smile as he adjusts the microphone in front of Kurt. The look goes unnoticed as Kurt’s eyes skirt over the few audience members. Blaine decides to break the ice with the crowd first.

“Hey, everyone. I’m Blaine, I know you’ve probably seen my mug around one too many times,” he hears a few chuckles and sees a few people wave from their table. “But tonight I’m sharing the stage. This is Mr. Kurt Hummel.”

His nerves all but disappeared, Kurt waves and, after Blaine gestures to the mic, says, “Hello, I’m Kurt. Um, I guess it’s always been a dream of mine to sing here at Joe’s Pub so I’d just like to thank Blaine and Joe for helping me achieve that dream.” 

Blaine can feel his face heat up and ducks his head, busying himself with tuning his guitar. 

Kurt continues, “As long as Joe doesn’t kick me off the stage, I’ll be singing at least one song for you all tonight. This was a song my mom used to sing to me when I was a kid. I’m sure most of you will know it.” Kurt leans over and whispers, “I hope you know Beatles songs?”

Blaine smiles, confident. “I got you covered, which one are we doing?” 

“Blackbird.” Blaine nods and sorts out the chords in his head, waiting for Kurt’s cue. 

He plucks out the opening chords, clearly floating through the dining hall. And then Kurt starts to sing. Blaine almost can’t believe the purity and range Kurt carries in his voice. His heart clenches painfully in unison with the rise and fall of Kurt’s voice. He can tell Kurt has the patrons’ undivided attention, eating and drinking have ceased in favor of listening to his clear, emotional cadence. 

In awe, Blaine notices the way that Kurt closes his eyes and sways to the music as if it’s source comes from deep within him. He tries not to stare, but if Joe’s very obvious hoot from the bar is any indication – he’s not doing a very good job. 

As Kurt finishes out the last notes and Blaine plucks out the last few notes, the pub launches into an uproar – well, of the few people there, most of them are vigorously clapping. It’s the best outcome they could have hoped for with such a spontaneous performance. Regardless, the grin on Kurt’s face is all the reassurance Blaine needs.

* * *

Kurt feels like the sun is trapped inside his chest, he feels so radiant and _alive_. His smile stretches so wide he can feel his teeth showing. The performance opened him up and let his heart be free once more – he’d forgotten what that freedom on stage felt like. As Blaine takes his hand and leads him off stage and back to their booth, the good feelings simmer to a bitter aftertaste. Memories from another time and place altogether rise to the surface. 

As they settle into their seats, Blaine senses his change in mood. “Kurt, you were amazing up there. I thought your post-song bliss would last at least through dinner.” 

He sighs heavily. “No, no. I love being up on stage. I never thought I could feel so free again. I’d forgotten what being up on stage does for me…” He’d always been one for the show tunes, props, and lights, forgetting the raw intimacy of just his voice. That was what lost him his opportunity to pursue music. 

“Performing is definitely therapeutic for me. It’s freeing to sing your heart out to a bunch of strangers, I love it.” The bright, liveliness in Blaine’s eyes makes Kurt smile. 

“Yeah, I always imagined I’d be able to move anyone with just my voice, that’s why when I applied at NYADA – “ Kurt stops short. He doesn’t want to talk about his failures, not when he’s finally made a life for himself, not when the memories still hurt to think about. 

“Kurt?” Blaine’s hand covers his over the table. Kurt can’t meet his eyes; he just stares at his water glass. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” 

Kurt almost scoffs. It’s the worst hypocrisy. He trusts Blaine more than he should even though Blaine is still keeping things from him. He manages a small smile and eye contact. Blaine smiles back, “Do you need a reminder of my flaws?”

Kurt snorts indelicately. “ _This_ is why I keep you around, to make me feel better about myself.” Blaine takes the dig and squeezes Kurt’s hand between both of his. Kurt joins his other hand on top of Blaine’s. “Okay.” 

“Okay?” 

“Okay, I’ll tell you what’s on my mind – but”, Kurt sees Blaine’s eyes go wide, “you have to tell me something honest about yourself after. Deal?” 

Blaine visibly relaxes, “Deal.” Kurt feels like he’s on the losing end of this deal. Then again, maybe his honesty will spark the same in Blaine. 

“So, way back in high school,” Kurt drawls and Blaine rolls his eyes, “I had this friend named Rachel who was the star of our glee club and driven to a point. Extremely self-motivated and self-absorbed. She was going to make it to Broadway one way or another.” Blaine nods. “In short, she ended up throwing me and all of her other friends under the metaphorical bus in order to get ahead. She sacrificed our friendship in order to succeed.” Pain flares in Kurt’s chest just thinking about it – the look of misplaced betrayal in Rachel’s eyes when he told her he was done. 

Blaine squeezes his hands to bring him back. Kurt smiles weakly. “Rachel and I shared the love of the spotlight, of being on stage, the music and the thrill of performing… We had plans to attend NYADA together and to take Broadway by storm. But I think that dream died for me along with our friendship.” Blaine’s brow creases and he rubs his thumb along Kurt’s knuckles. 

Just then, Joe shows up with their food. “I hope I’m not interrupting,” he says, placing their dishes in front of them. Kurt smiles and gestures for him to continue, grateful for the distraction. “I did want to say that you both were fantastic tonight, especially you, Kurt. I’m blown away by your voice – Blackbird was incredibly moving, I think I filled a few wine glasses with my tears.” 

Kurt chuckles good-naturedly with Blaine, but there must still be a tangible tension in the air because Joe simply nods and says, “Enjoy” before leaving them. 

Thankfully, Blaine doesn’t immediately pick up their conversation when Joe leaves. Kurt’s grateful for the silence and easy companionship that Blaine provides with soft smiles over their plates and gentle nudges against his feet underneath the table. The conversation isn’t left unfinished and Kurt didn’t expect it to be – he still needs Blaine to open up. 

Blaine searches his expression before he says, “Well, after that performance, I think Joe will want you to become a regular.” He takes a sip of his water, failing to hide a smug grin on his face. Kurt’s surprised by the change in topic as he feels the heat rise beneath his skin. 

“I certainly wouldn’t mind,” he says truthfully. “As long as I get to sing with you.” Now it’s Blaine’s turn to blush. He ducks his head bashfully and offers his hand, palm up for Kurt on the table. Kurt places his hand in Blaine’s. 

“Why did you let your dreams die, Kurt?”

Kurt’s taken aback by the question, so direct and yet, not what he was expecting. “I- I didn’t, my dreams just changed. I’m pursuing fashion now.” 

Blaine chuckles. “There’s no denying your fashion sense, Kurt. But everyone saw your passion up on that stage tonight. You can touch people with your voice, Kurt. You have something special. What made you give that up?”

 _He’ll only open up if I open up_ , Kurt thinks as he takes a breath and Blaine squeezes his hand again. “I didn’t get in.” Kurt remembers opening his letter with Finn and Rachel. He remembers the crippling disappointment all too well. 

“I didn’t get into NYADA and I hated Rachel for getting in. For how she practically blackmailed the Dean to get in when she had choked during her audition. I hated how she patted me consolingly on the shoulder and said we could all still move out to New York together as if that would solve everything. I hated her for how she practically cast me aside once she started classes and made new, more talented and ‘classically trained’ friends. People who _understood_. She barely batted an eye when I landed my internship at Vogue and that’s when I knew our friendship had truly died, I had only been waiting for its revival and it never came. So, I moved out. I was done.” 

Blaine hesitates and then leans forward, “But Kurt, what does any of that have to do with your dreams? You wanting to pursue singing?”

Kurt can’t explain the sudden anger that rises inside him. It’s not directed at Blaine, but it’s definitely the product of his digging. “It has everything to do with her, Blaine! Don’t you see? We’d challenged each other, pushed each other to be better and she tossed me aside once we got here! Now she’s probably a star at NYADA on her way to Broadway just like she always dreamed. New York is chock full of talent like hers, Blaine, you’re a shining example too – how am I supposed to compete with that? How can I even attempt to measure up?”

Blaine clutches Kurt’s hands, “You don’t. You’re in a league all your own.” Kurt snorts indelicately, brushing lightly at the stinging in his eyes. His anger has melted away, leaving him raw and laid open. Blaine doesn’t let him look away though, he holds his gaze. “You were amazing tonight, Kurt. You need to know that even if you can’t see it, yet. I’m going to help you see it.” 

Any leftover tension in Kurt’s chest unravels. He doesn’t quite believe Blaine, but he nods and says, “Okay.” Blaine’s smile takes over his face and he nods too. There aren’t many people he lets close enough to open up to, but he’s glad he did so for Blaine. He only hopes he can return the favor. 

In the interest of shifting the focus off of him, Kurt blurts, “Oh, you have to tell me one true thing about yourself now! You don’t have to go quite as deep as I did though.” 

Kurt sees a brief flash of panic on Blaine’s face before he schools his features, looking deep in thought. Suddenly, Kurt’s nervous. _What if he lies? What if he tells me something completely inconsequential and I’m right back where I started?_

Blaine clears his throat. “I regret a lot of the things that I’ve done over the last year, but I can’t bring myself to regret breaking into your apartment.” They smile briefly at each other. Blaine seems to notice that Kurt wants a different answer and his eyes flick away towards the bar where Joe’s polishing glasses. “If I’m being honest… sometimes I can’t let things go, Kurt. I hold onto things until they burn me up inside – guilt, fear, anxiety, anger. I think too much,” he finishes with a deprecating grimace. 

Blaine’s honesty washes over Kurt, soothing his nerves, but there’s still an uneasy feeling in his gut. Perhaps it’s the way Blaine’s eyes had shifted over to Joe before he spoke or the way Blaine clasps his hands tightly in front of him. Maybe it’s the fact that he suddenly notices the subtle dark shapes beneath Blaine’s eyes in the candlelight as if he’s had a few sleepless nights. 

Kurt doesn’t show his uneasiness. “Everyone does that to some degree. I think it helps to have someone to listen. Someone to release that tension so you don’t keep it bottled up.” He takes Blaine’s hands in his over the table and Blaine smiles shyly. “Thanks for being honest, Blaine.” He can’t quite meet Kurt’s eyes, which makes the uneasy feeling come back. Kurt tests him with a slight jab, “Besides, you’ve come a long way from the burglar in my apartment.” Blaine meets his eyes but his smile is transparent.

Although it seems that Blaine was honest with him, Kurt isn’t convinced. There’s still something Blaine’s not telling him. Kurt doesn’t know what to do or how to approach this. If he digs too much, he could push Blaine away. But if he lets Blaine try to figure it out, Blaine might do something he’ll really regret.


End file.
